When you study computers-science at the University of Paderborn you get taught the Java programming language in your first two semesters (which you might already know by then). Afterwards you get a brief introduction on other programming paradigms and the corresponding languages: C, Pascal, Lisp, ML, SmallTalk, SQL, Prolog, …

Starting from your third semester you are expected to learn any arbitrary programming language by yourself. That’s it. I don’t know if this equations works out or not. But if you encounter someone who claims to be a “software-architect” and did study in Paderborn and considers programming to be beneath him,… well I think you catch my drift.

I can only pity all people who consider programming as beneath them, because they miss out on one of the important lessons of computer science. Language does define how we think. If we can express some topic in such a way, that someone other with a certain background on that topic can grasp and understand it, then we have truly conceived that topic ourselves. Here the computer is nothing more than an unforgiving and impolite listener. You need to be concise and exact or everything will blow.
If all programming languages were equivalent from the programmers point of view, everything would still be written in Assembler. This is where we Nerds who collect programming languages get our revenge. If you now still think of programming as something unworthy of a gentleman-engineer, well then: Fuck you very much.

I recently held a small workshop on Python at the PC^2. Here are the slides for the language introduction. I will post the slides of the project and it’s source code soon. Nonetheless my ambition for professionality in holding this workshop, I am still an undergrad student. A student who collects programming languages and has some expertise on this field, but still a student.

Now some fellow student of computer science asks whether he can have a certificate for attending this workshop. For his CV most probably. Does this guy want to ridicule himself? From the third semester he was expected to learn any arbitrary programming language in approx. one week and now he wants to have a certificate which states that took a workshop, held by a fellow undergrad, in order to learn a language as simple as Python.

His request might be correlated to the fact that in germany, more attention is paid to titles and certificates than to real skills. A behaviour which certainly applies to job applications. This feels like a Dilbert Comic, or a sketch from Loriot, that I now have to hand out certificates to fellow students, so they can pimp their CV with yet another certificate. I mean, where’s the justice? Who gives me a certificate for holding such a workshop, or even certifying my expertise in the Python language? Sadly: no one. This leaves me in the tricky question how I am going to pimp my CV. A difficult question indeed.

This is as disturbing as it is ridiculous and since we recently celebrated the 85th birthday of of Loriot, whose subtle, insightful and gentle humour has still to be surpassed in germany, I have taken the time of hand crafting a certificate of attendance for this workshop I held and I will happily hand it out to every attendee who want’s to add it to his collection. I hope you will find it as artistically pleasing as informatory. Behold:

Edit: I have redone that certificate, because the photocopier had problems with the original one.

P.S.: I hope you all have one of those valuable “Yodel Diplomas”.